I used to think networking was a waste of time, until I realized I was treating people like opportunities instead of relationships.
For a long time, I showed up to events trying to collect contacts. Business cards, small talk, soft asks. It was exhausting. And nothing ever came from it.
That is not networking. That is performance.
The first real conversation I had with the partner who eventually hired me was not an interview. It was 10 minutes at a conference party talking about what we were excited about in healthcare.
When he left, he handed me a card that said a16z. Six months later, that conversation turned into my first job in the industry.
At the same conference, I went to a CEO’s Q&A on the last day. Five of us were in the room.
His company was around a $200M market cap, up against a multibillion dollar competitor. We stayed in touch simply because we liked talking to each other.
Years later, his company had a big acquisition. When he started his next one, he called the people he had kept close when things were hard. That became one of my most successful investments. I still learn from him today.
My first year at HBS, I made myself a simple rule: every week, talk to one person who is already doing the job you want, and ask them how they make decisions, not just how they got there.
If I am honest, in my early years I was probably known more for ambition than insight. The shift happened when I started focusing on being useful instead of being impressive.
A few habits that worked for me early on:
↳ Keep a short list of people you respect and follow their work ↳ Send one thoughtful note a year with no ask attached, holidays and New Year make this easy ↳ Be known for insight before you are known for ambition ↳ Treat every conversation like it might matter in five years, not five days
Careers and relationships compound quietly, then suddenly.
Who is someone you stayed in touch with when there was nothing obvious to gain, and what happened years later?
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